Magic Money Tree To Help Fund The NHS

A magical money tree has been discovered, and the government is planning on using it to help fund he national health service. Economists don’t worry, it doesn’t produce literally money that will cause great inflation, it is apparently more of a magic business tree of  finance. The government plan on using the tree’s magical abilities to cut £20 million a week from their budget without losing any productivity or conveniences. Where is the money coming from? Well, as it turns out the top brass in government services and government funded services will be taking a considerable pay cut many of whom get payed well over 3 times as much as the Prime Minister who herself gets payed £150,000 a year. In addition a reworking of a few government organisations allows for improved efficiency and productivity without spending as much on materials and resources.

The tree has apparently spotted many issues with productivity distribution of pay, corruption, ineffective use of resources and poor investing across all sections of the government, and has warned the government to invest in expensive but reliable and good systems, materials, buildings, education and so on to save immense amounts of money in the long run and boost the future economy of the country. The Prime Minister has stated she will take the tree’s advice to heart and slowly implement new measures. When questioned how the country got into such a state her response was “We are not magical trees of knowledge, we are just humans trying our best and we (the current government) are not to blame, these are issues every government to date has contributed to. We can only try to fix the wrongs of the past, mainly the wrongs of the Working Party.” She did not answer question regarding the current state of the education system or the poor material and quality of buildings built or implemented in a time when the Preserver Party was in power.

The leader of the Working Party has also made a speech in response “The Preserver Party, is the party currently in charge, they have been for a while. We at the Working Party, knew the tree’s advice and wouldn’t have needed it. It has always been the Preserver Party to ruin the economy and reward the rich. We at the Working Party have always been the ones to try to fix it.” He refused to answer questions about how it was when the Working Party were in power that top well payed government funded jobs received their highest pay raises to date but the lowest paid received no such rise, or how many of the poorest performing computers and software in government and schools were put into use by the Working Party.

Politics… maybe we should just focus on bettering our economy and country rather than blame shifting and petty squabbling.

Sarah Thorneson

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