Local Pet Shelter Goal Was Met

Remember when I wrote that article about a local pet shelter needing more funding and adoptions? Well, they got both, yay! And as promise I am going to write a short story. Alas my health has been really bad as of late and with all the power cuts and overheating computers, it may be a while by the time I get to posting it. But just keep your eye out for it!

But this doesn’t mean you can suddenly ignore pet shelters and other organisations, they require our constant support and aid. So get out there and help out. Help everyone out!

But if you did help out in any way, thank you. So many lives are indebted to you. (^3^)

Temperance Carter

Advertisements

SMALLEY SKIPS HER SMALLS TO SUNBATHE NUDE.

It’s DIRTY DAVE and I am back from Maliboon! You can bet I was very excited to return to a GS heat wave because a hot summer means two things –

  1. Bikini tops.
  2. Bikini bottoms.

I feel like I’ve brought a piece of Maliboon back with me on the plane (you’re welcome), or maybe DIRTY DAVE is developing a super power of his own, eh? But that aside, you’re here for the hot goss’ and I am personally cracking the flags with gossip so hot. Sledge hammer in hand, gossip in my head, flagstones cracking themselves in sheer awe of the hot goss’ I’m about to lay down.

Super babe of this year, ARRIETY SMALLEY has been hitting the beach harder than I’ve been hitting the flag stones with my hammer of gossip. Since Summer started, Smalley has been sunning herself in order to cultivate the Earth’s greatest tan. She has frequently been spotted soaking up her vitamin C on various shores around GS, but rumour has it that she has also been taking off to a secluded stretch of sand she calls her own in order to make sure that the tan gets full coverage.

THAT’S RIGHT, SMALLEY SKIPS HER SMALLS TO SUNBATHE NUDE!

What a shocker! Who would have thought such a short, innocent looking lass would have it in her! She’s got bigger balls than I do (metaphorically) but it certainly paints a lovely picture to know that her sun-kissed skin will continue underneath her stylish day-to-day outfits and skimpy stage costumes.

If anyone deserves the power of being able to sing like she does, it’s her.

 

Dirty Dave

Spanish Heatwave Visiting Great Scotlan

The top Spanish Super Hero, Heatwave, is visiting Great Scortlan on a tour of Great Scotlan as part of a joint nation crack down on drug smuggling. The Spanish hero is said to be talking to Dark Moth, TAXIman and Blade Kinsobe about how the two nations heroes can be more involved in the war on drugs and war on smuggling.

This is part of the worldwide initiative to find and stop any production or storing of an illegal, weaponised and extremely deadly, super power enhancing drug. The effects of which wracked Birmingham in the I.B.M. incident.

Heatwave is not only a Spanish hero but the Minister of Interior in Spain. The Minister of Interior has a number of duties which includes presiding over police, national defence and immigration. So will be meeting with multiple politicians and police forces across Great Scotlan to discuss tightened security and new routines.

Heatwave is also giving a number of public speeches and attending many events as a hero, but is not on active hero duty while within the country.

The Great Scotish Public have been overwhelmed by his presence so far. He is expected to stay for a further 7 days.

Sarah Thorneson

Day 5 of the ULH vs the USA

It has been 5 days since the trial of the USA began, as expected not much has been said or done as of yet. The battle is expected to take months. But in the USA much has changed, with the ULH and UN in control and Star Weaver the acting head of the USA, much has happened. Accordingly 500 riots and violent protest were stopped before they had a chance to occur and some 3000 people were arrested as a result. Successful crime rates have fallen, with most suspects arrested before they had a chance to carry out any offence, although almost all arrests have led to nothing more than a slap on the wrists. There has yet to be a single delay in public transport and traffic jams are at a record low for the past 3 days. Soup kitchen and homeless shelters have spoken about a massive increase in food. Employment has risen by 2% and all shops have recorded a minimum of 5% rise in profits over the past 5 days. The USA has seemingly become an efficient machine thanks to the appointment of specialised peoples to every major role in the USA’s political system and infrastructure.

That being said, stress levels are up, fear of arrest is up and citizens constantly report a feeling of unease and feeling imprisoned.

There have also been concerns about freedom of speech and spying after many people have been arrested for hate speech, conspiracy to plot a crime, treason and sexist, lbgtphobic or racist view points, all of which can lead to hefty fines and lengthy prison sentences.

Fear of prisons overflowing were “put at ease” with the announcement of a prison reform and 200 planned “Reformation Centres” these buildings are slated to be in working order in 2 weeks time. A very efficient machine indeed.

Sarah Thorneson

Sidehire’s side job causing rifts in the ULH?

Submerging Wave, Greece’s top hero and one of the Universal League of Heroes’ top 5 heroes, recently hired Sidehire, the convicted super villain, as an adviser. This raised many eyebrows in the hero world and normal world alike. Although other heroes including Dark Moth, the hero Sidehire has declared a vendetta against and who is currently investigating Sidehire for involvement in a recent case, have yet to speak out against this choice.

Submerging Wave has been very quiet as of late, being involved in less cases and seen with other heroes less often. Normally other top heroes would regularly be seen visiting Greece to aid Submerging Wave, but for the past week they have been seen less often in Greece and even less often with Submerging Wave.

Submerging Wave has also not been spotted in the USA where the ULH and UN have taken control and many other heroes from around the world have been stationed there. This is all inconclusive but could point to evidence suggesting that Submerging Wave has been distanced from by the ULH, and that cracks are forming in the ULH upper echelon at such an important time.

Whatever the case we hope that the hiring of Sidehire was the right thing to do and that it is just coincidence that Submerging Wave seems to be distanced from by his peers.

Sarah Thorneson

Tempi’s Head Hurts

Hello it is I, Tempi. Sorry for the slow news and lack of articles, I have had an achy head due to an infection and a whole array of problems in my mouth. Since I operate the site, well, I haven’t had the energy and clear vision to write well sorry. So I will come back and bring more news and fun articles in the future. Just let me get better. ^3^ pwease.

Thankies.

On a good note we are likely going to get a manga page X’3 So come and meet us when that is up!

Temperance Carter

Indomitable Block Man Attack Report

The police have finally released a statement and report on the Indomitable Block Man that attacked Birmingham last week. We will break down the important details:

Casualties:
58 dead- 28 Police, 16 Civilians and 14 Military
36 Police Wounded, 12 still in hospital, 32 Civilian Injured, 8 still in hospital, 13 Military Injured, 3 awaiting return to active service.
No critically injured.
All in all 139 casualties.

Property Damage:
£500 Million worth of damage, £320 million was recovered by repair and recovery teams. A further £100 million was restored thanks to emergency diminishing responsibility magic.

Cost of relieve efforts, Hero deployment and emergency service operations:
£80 Million.

The Indomitable Block Man is confirmed to have died to a drug induced heart attack. He was on multiple drugs at the time. It is also true he was on a military grade experimental power enhancing drug that had its research pulled and banned by the UN and ULH. It is believed to be this drug that killed him.

The villain is also known to have belonged to a small time gang and was a teenager known to the police, he was on the “Minor super” list, a list of known supers with minor powers.

The police and hero forces across the country are working to find other sources of the drug and destroy them. They are also working with the ULH and International Police to find if other similar incidents may have occurred or if the drug is on the international black market.

More top tier heroes and military super divisions are to be on active duty for more hours of the day to prevent such a large scale incident happening again.

Sarah Thorneson

Business Not Quite As Usual in the “Super” USA

With the ULH and UN vs the USA case ongoing, the United States of America has become tense, with a feeling of unease coating the nation. The citizens have been told to go about their days as usual. But without President Farttington raving on the news and social media and with UN and ULH official on every corner, no one really knows what to do.

Many are claiming the UN has turned the USA into a prison or a military state, others are saying the citizens have been turned into nothing more than a possession or bargaining chip. Many claim to feeling like a hostage.

But this morning a number of laws were repealed and a number of other laws were enforced. Strict and “inhumane” immigration policy was changed, prisons have been told to reform, minimum wage is going to be increased, food and health standards are to be raised, LGBT and race protections are to be implemented and updated, and gay marriage has been legalised.

Star Weaver the acting head of the USA has announced a review on gun laws and police tactics are to be undertaken.

Many liberal citizens of the USA are proclaiming the take over a gift from god and hope the USA never regains its independence if it means losing the new laws and regulations.

Many conservative citizens believe the entire take over is a conspiracy to take away what makes the USA the USA. That the new laws are not in the people’s best interest and Star Weaver should not have the authority to make such changes.

Many world leaders and government officials have been quoted to say they fear a similar take over, especially those countries with more conservative constitutions.

Sarah Thorneson

USA vs ULH and UN

The Universal League of Heroes and United Nations are taking the Government of the United States of America to court, the International Court of Justice will be working along side the Open Hero Committee to bring a resolution and justice to the situation.

The situation involved the recent events with Star Weaver at its heart. The UN and ULH took over and arrested the personnel of a USA Government facility in the USA, after Star Weaver’s staff turned up with in the facility. The International Court of Justice and Open Hero Committee are working to determine who is responsible for the theft of Star Weaver’s staff, and her attempted murder, the reason behind it and the level of responsibility for each person involved. The ULH and UN, desire to charge all involved with attempted murder, theft of ULH property, attempted illegal acquisition of Weapons of Extraordinary Destructive Power, hiring of a known criminal, harbouring known fugitives, smuggling and unethical use/theft of public funding.

The USA Government denies all involvement and claims all personnel and known persons involved acted in secret and independent of the United States Government and all affiliated peoples. There is no word as of yet if there is any evidence or confessions that support or refute these claims.

Other than Cleandemise it is unknown who was arrested or which facility was involved. Until the trial ends, the ULH and UN are taking over all official task of the United States Government including national defence. UN and ULH soldiers, personnel, vehicles and property have been spotted at every known USA military base, port, court and government building. The UN and ULH have made a statement claiming they will work in the best interest of the citizens of the USA and will work with the current elected Government to make sure that happens, but until a new bond of trust can be made, the USA Government can no longer be trusted to act independently, or make any decision without extensive scrutiny.

President Farttington released a statement “I am not to blame, we will get our country back, they are Tyrants. They probably faked everything.” World Leaders across the globe are openly supporting Farttington.

Soldiers across the USA have spoken to reporters claiming the take over was sudden, “one second there we were going about our day, the next second we had foreign soldiers pointing guns at us, and our own heroes along with foreign ones, stood alongside them. we couldn’t do anything, our guns wouldn’t work, grenades became duds, vehicles stopped working at all and all these aggressor had the letters UN emblazoned on their gear. They were everywhere, in the bunkers, in the offices, store rooms, they knew every little detail of the base. They appeared from thin air. It was terrifying, in the end we just did what they told us. And they simply told us to do our duty as normal.”

Nigh identical reports are pouring in from around the country.

Star Weaver is the acting leader of the USA until the trial ends, having been voted in by the members of the International Court of Justice and Open Hero Committee.

The International Court of Justice is situated in the Netherlands and deals with international issues and disputes, acting independently from any one nation. The USA has had its disagreements in the past, but with the aid of the ULH, the UN seems confident in its ability to enforce rulings onto the USA.

The Open Hero Committee, is an organisation set up to settle legal issues involving heroes and is the creator of the Heroic Code of Conduct a legal document that both protects heroes from the law, but also enforces a strict set of rules on heroes, the Open Hero Committee rarely enforce any of their rulings and instead relies on the police and other law enforcement of  the countries to deal with sentencing.

Sarah Thorneson

Temperance’s Teeth Tingle Tremendously

As you may have seen our articles have been shorter and more sporadic as of late, this is because our woman in charge of the website, who supervises us and edits our articles, well, she has been ill, with tooth ache and infection. I have a theory as to why.

She has been infected with the demonic alien plague, Tranquiline, an infection that gets into your body through your teeth, silently, killing you, everyone will think you died of natural causes. But Tempi, well she is tougher than most, her body fought against the powerful plague that would have wiped out all life on earth. Her body absorbed every essence of the plague on the planet and is now locked in combat with the most devastating disease in the universe.

But for someone like Tempi this is nothing more than a minor tooth ache. She may pretend it is just a normal issue, but we shall know. My theories are always correct.

Go Tempi, save us all from this horrifying plague of the mouth. Save us all from disaster and be our unsung heroine.

Gothboth Le Strenge