It’s DIRTY DAVE and I am back from Maliboon! You can bet I was very excited to return to a GS heat wave because a hot summer means two things –
- Bikini tops.
- Bikini bottoms.
I feel like I’ve brought a piece of Maliboon back with me on the plane (you’re welcome), or maybe DIRTY DAVE is developing a super power of his own, eh? But that aside, you’re here for the hot goss’ and I am personally cracking the flags with gossip so hot. Sledge hammer in hand, gossip in my head, flagstones cracking themselves in sheer awe of the hot goss’ I’m about to lay down.
Super babe of this year, ARRIETY SMALLEY has been hitting the beach harder than I’ve been hitting the flag stones with my hammer of gossip. Since Summer started, Smalley has been sunning herself in order to cultivate the Earth’s greatest tan. She has frequently been spotted soaking up her vitamin C on various shores around GS, but rumour has it that she has also been taking off to a secluded stretch of sand she calls her own in order to make sure that the tan gets full coverage.
THAT’S RIGHT, SMALLEY SKIPS HER SMALLS TO SUNBATHE NUDE!
What a shocker! Who would have thought such a short, innocent looking lass would have it in her! She’s got bigger balls than I do (metaphorically) but it certainly paints a lovely picture to know that her sun-kissed skin will continue underneath her stylish day-to-day outfits and skimpy stage costumes.
If anyone deserves the power of being able to sing like she does, it’s her.